i have never died before, but i’m well rehearsed….and so it is indeed curious for one to be in Love with every aspect of this wonderful Existence; from the interior gifts of Consciousness and Soul, to the Angelic gift given to the Musician, perceiving quite correctly the Woman as a work of Art in Spirit and Form, Children as the true reflection of the Creator God, and Nature as the Physical Aspect….the Thought Forms of this same Beautiful Creative Essence, and yet there existed within myself the desire to leave this Life, not because of these ethereal contents but rather for how these same were invisible and dehumanized, ignored and abused….for i am in excellent company when i say that this is a profoundly sick and pathological Society, the corollary to this being that those who have accepted, adjusted to, or do well within in it are sick as well. For like a poisoned ocean, the healthy fish have died while the remaining are sick and mutated. For if our hearts could only beat like feathers upon the breath of the One whose figments we are, as in the kind and judgmental eyes of Osiris, as we know nothing of our own Psyche, despite the Freudian insistence upon certain Mechanical promises whose malfunctioning is a symptom of something far greater and more sinister than anything our Ego and Fear would ever allow us to believe…the designing and dispensing of chemicals to dull and nullify the spark that is Spirit, a contrived sport is made of psychiatry to now which even the law is beholden, the madness of a Darwinian solution to the Glory of our very presence, the illogical insanity of a god who would request the tips of baby penises in exchange for a promise, Patriarchal Psychopathy has traveled hand in hand for thousands of years suppressing the Goddess at every turn, whose very nature will not allow a violent response. For the most Beautiful, Natural, and Powerful act of a Human is Childbirth, which cannot be stolen or destroyed by Man as all other things material and spiritual have been. Subversion is the only end to that means. So enter Feminism: a clever misdirection that brought about NOT the Divine Feminine as could have been but rather used the Man as Template…what a foolish mistake to imitate Man! Man who falters constantly and consistently in his understanding of Women, Sex, God and even himself…Man who desires the viewing of other men playing children’s games as Sport, who wears the name of another man in pride on his chest…Man, who is a socially engineered puppet, for whom the word Career is but a societal euphemism for Slave, that the Woman should be fooled into this as a desirous goal, the Female is indeed co-creator of this grave error. And the Creator Essence who so unselfishly brought us into Being, to even conceive of the whole affair, a Matrix of Illusion to us now, perhaps, but all is Confusion until the Code is deciphered and the Language understood and then Chaos becomes Eden, a tale of two cities whose dichotomy of thought leaves us with no colour, for it is only on and off, good and evil, black and white, and yet it is Truth which will always be the only concept with a singular vector….does the Mind submit itself to the three dimensions within which it exists, or do our senses parade the Mind about like a Marionette with tangled strings that Vibrate in multiple Symphonies from the billions of cellular Orchestras within our corporeal selves to the largess of the Orbiting Spheres? And yet we choose to hear nothing. Only a sad silence pervaded only by the Ego can be heard, a chattering echo of its sub-program repeating endlessly and idiotically. The great Melody lies dormant in the broken hearts of all Humans, awaiting the rhythm to which the heart has already begun like a living metronome. That the Individual is considered a disease to this society, and Babies even more so….while living Human Fetuses swim for their lives in a toilet should be the acknowledgment that we have failed, each and every one of us, contributing with Thought if not Action, as Thoughts are Things, and if we are here than we have brought ourselves here…Free Will is a responsibility of such enormity and seriousness that perhaps it cannot be grasped quite accurately enough at this point in our Conscious Evolution as to just what we have done….for each Human is a wonderful promise, and yet with the organization of these same Humans comes intolerable control, followed soon after by the bitter cruelty that was unrecognizable only moments ago…..
i have not left and i will not leave, at least not until the Synchronicity of my Dimensional motivations prevent my staying any longer, for i am now more resilient than ever….and there is a great freedom in the serious consideration of death, nor can this place of awareness ever be achieved artificially, but to be so deeply pierced by emotions, to be so concerned and obsessed with the reality of every day, ended like Solomon with a blessing of more Wisdom….for truly the unexamined life is NOT worth living, and the examined life at first is also not worth living, for to see all the well trained Humans parade about so proudly in their zoo, trapped within a psychic cage of mental anguish they will not allow themselves to feel, for to feel this would be the weight of a million suns, is at first reflected back at oneself with the proclamation of “guilty!” as a heavy verdict from every corner of society, for it is all born out of the same bad seed….the alternative is the Paranoid’s Dream, another contrived creation from the Freudian playbook, and so there is no relief. For as Einstein taught us, you cannot solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it…..for a person knows when he is in a prison or any alternative reality only because he has something to compare it to…..so hypothetically, he said sarcastically, what if the entire Earth were a prison and all its occupants were born into said prison and had no other reality to compare it to? Ego and Fear are the twin engines of self-destruction…for what else but a vainglorious ego, melded with the human’s unique gift for creativity, could assume anything at all concerning who and what we are? We are even ignorant to the origin of Gravity, a force which maintains a persistent affect on our reality….we remain unaware of both the surreal and ethereal boundaries of our own physical selves, choosing instead to rely upon the mechanical aspects of the physical body, cognizant to no other information than what our senses with such limited antennae we pathetically rely upon, and clinging to this we build upon it nonsensically….a severe lack of understanding with regard to our very psychology and the workings of memory, how dare we assume anything at all about our subjective reality? We could easily be as ants in a box beneath a child’s bed, or perhaps a self aware software program, for what is Natural and what is Mechanical? We have defined for our own purposes and self satisfaction our meaning for these words, but then how shall we define what is a god and what is an alien? How would the Ancients have defined these?
That misleading Dichotomy again fools us into believing that we have chosen our own paths like Lab Rats in a maze, when nothing could be further from the truth…..the Bible word for word or not at all, indoctrinated into our childhood hearts with the Fear of Hell to imprint it upon our consciousness with such a firm grasp it is not worth the pain for many to tear it off; not entirely a bad thing, for the Gods are indeed there for us, but we must navigate through the propaganda of many entities to uncover what is surely more complicated and abstract than what has been delineated for us over time…..for it is crucial to note what provoked the many intelligent and spiritual cultures of the world to abandon their concept of Gods and Goddesses for the sadistic, Patriarchal God who seems to be favored by the imperialistic pathological nations, or even to consider the cause of the subversion of Christianity away from the esoteric teachings of the eastern style, leaving a hollow, empty Christ repackaged and marketed by the Vatican just in time for the Roman Empire to enforce it upon the world……
Civilization began the very instant Nature was subjugated. It began BECAUSE Nature was subjugated. When the Nomadic Tribes became aware of animal husbandry and farming it allowed for the stability necessary to build and create Society… so the two cannot co-exist freely. And yet whether this is some cosmic metaphor or not, Human Beings are themselves Nature and therefore anything that comes out of Society can only be De-Humanizing and Anti-Human….Laws will never correct this, Political Ideology will never correct this, for one cannot serve two masters….and as we have already chosen, for long ago we were divorced from the Garden, we shall only become more Dehumanized while becoming more Desensitized to the very awareness of our Humanity slipping away…..the ancient archetypes that used to glow brightly in our mind’s eye have become faint, and i fear will soon vanish forever.